- By: Dashana Jefferies

In 2018 I wanted to die!  I went through the most devastating time of my life. You see for years I was walking around in a fog not knowing what was wrong.

I was 40 and was not happy with anything in my life. Even though I was successful to society's standards, traveled all the time, and was living what I appeared to the outside world, my "best life", only a very few close to me knew the truth.

My narcissistic ex who I had been dating for 2 1/2 yrs was an impostor. The betrayal brought back all the unhealed feelings of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence.  I hit rock bottom.

Everything I was hiding came to the forefront.  My fake smiles were now tears. I would hide out at work and come home and get in bed at 2 pm and stay there until it was time to go to work again. I would stay in bed all weekend and just sleep and watch television. I was barely eating. I felt like I wanted to hide from the world and just be done with it.  None of this was normal. My world as I knew it had turned into quicksand pulling me down to where I was breathless.

There was no pulling through without help, so I signed up for therapy, yes I said THERAPY. I know this is taboo in many cultures/families. You continuously hear; "Black people shouldn't go to therapy," "Just pray it away," "It's just a season that will pass.” Right? Nahhhh this was no season, I wasn't praying anything away. I knew at that moment that therapy was the only thing that would save my life. I am not afraid to talk about it.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Through therapy, I worked through the pain, from my past. Once I started healing (not done yet), I started working on my future through meditation on my terms (not all meditation works for everyone), daily self-improvement activities I created, affirmations, and more. 

On the other side of the dark, I came out with pure light. I found my calling, I left my job where I had been scared to ask for what I was worth. By stepping out on faith I shattered all types of ceilings. You see I was now more confident, happy, and knew my worth. My salary increased in a nine-month period, AYEEEEE. No longer could I be held down. Not only did I change jobs to earn my worth, but I also removed toxic people who were causing me stress, from my life. You see you must be intentional with who you surround yourself with.

Side note: Make a list of who supports you, who pushes you to do better, who celebrates you, who is not jealous of you, who is doing great things in their life. That list you created, THAT is your tribe.

MY CALLING! My calling said, “Look back over your life Dashana. You have always had the gift. Brush yourself off and continue your journey helping others, but now step forward as a professional.” For years I was a business mentor through the corporate world. I helped many with their personal lives while hiding in my fake smile. Now I am a Certified Mental Wellness/Transformational Life Coach. As your coach, I meet you where you are in your journey, not where you pretend to be.

I am fighting to end the mental health stigma, hence why I started A Passport 2 Breathe,  along with my best friend Dr. Cristina Vanessa Tejada-Reamon DSW, LCSW. Dr. Cristina is a  therapist out of New Jersey. Outside of therapy, one-on-one, and group coaching, we also host domestic and international mental wellness retreats.

Your trauma resume doesn't have to stop you from your victory resume. Remember to be intentional and use the passport you have been given to breathe.

It's your story, together let's write the spin-off.